Why I Write

 A 'pen and book' is where it all starts. Writings are thoughts. It serves as a personal dialogue, giving voice to unspoken feelings and helping you acknowledge what's truly going on inside you.

Growing up I was the quiet girl, hardly said anything in spaces. Not that I had nothing to say, but it's just that I couldn't put the right words for people to get me! Don't get me wrong I was also the loudest in my friend group, outgoing, funny and fun, full of ideas and plans. I am sometimes unpredictable sometimes audacious. I would like to think that I am an extroverted introvert per say.  I just have to be comfortable and feel like I can be.

I didn't start journaling till I was in grade 9 - late bloomer I know. 

I started writing because of my English teacher. He said he loved my essays and at that time I wasn't even trying hard honestly. However, orals weren't really my fave. Thats where I knew that I might not be very good at articulating my words, but I knew that I could make perfect sense on paper.

Thats the thing about me I always want to stand out, but I don't want to be seen. 

My writing stems from a place of being misunderstood - by others and sometimes, surprisingly, by myself. It's a vital process of my discovery; I need to write it all out and then read it back the next day to truly figure out what I was feeling or thinking. Growing up it was either I was doing too much or doing less. Which made me question myself and what made it worse - I looked like my dad. 

So, when I was younger, I thought I was ugly because I was like MY FATHER and people would make it sound like it was the worst thing to happen to a child. Funny enough believed it. It tolled with my self-confidence and the way I saw myself. I kept to myself. 

Looking at myself now wow I'm actually like my dad. Guess that means the man's an absolute stunner, because look at me! And it turns out, he blessed me with more than just good looks, he instilled this fierce drive. It'll take practically nothing for me to quit on anything I truly care about. 

Journaling, at first it was just something I wanted to do, but now it's something I need to do - daily cause that's how I really know how the days event affected me and how God is present.

Reading back my journals its very much fulfilling and gives a very eventful insight of what happening that day and the world around. Thats the beauty of writing in my journal causes I get to be transparent without feeling judged in anyway, but you really have to stay away from my grade 9 journal!

I don't write with a sequential plan I write as I feel and remember. Some people have a sort of way of writing but as for I start with a 'hey Diary' and then I dive right in. I feel like that's how my mind operates sometimes. I only plan on making my feels and moments seen and validated in my writing.

Love, 

Zimbini